Ugly Goldfish & Ludicrous Compliments

The other day, my boss sent me this photo with these accompanying instructions:

"Can you help me to write the accompanying note to ABC Company*? I need you to do a write up on the significance of the painting elements for their office. Eg. The significance of goldfish, the number 2, whatever you can think of. The idea is to make it as auspicious as possible. It should be at least 100 words and I need it by the time I get back to office tomorrow. Thanks."

After I read through the email, I was like... WTF! I'm not a blardy secretary ok! This is not my job loh, why can't he just ask the secretary to do it!? Grrr...

But I've got no choice, right? He assigned me with this stupid task, dun like also must do it...

I wonder why he chose this painting... the 2 goldfish are soooooo ugly! Chinese not Chinese, western not western... I mean the painting style. I'm not alone in my opinion. Everyone I showed the photo to shared the same sentiments. Melisa said, why the fishes look so dried up ah? ZW commented that the fishes looked like fossils. Hahaha!

So anyway, after some research from the internet for info on auspicious elements, this is what I came up with:
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To commemorate the milestone of your office opening, we present to ABC Company* this painting featuring a pair of goldfish as it heralds an auspicious environment and has universal significance that crosses cultural barriers.

In many Asian cultures, the goldfish portends good fortune. In the Chinese culture, it symbolizes prosperity. The Chinese word for “goldfish” (金鱼), when spoken, resembles the phrase "金余”, meaning “gold in abundance", which is synonymous with our wish for your office and the Regional Hub.

The pair, like the number “two”, represents partnerships and complementary relationships, we hope that we can achieve many great accomplishments together through co-operation and teamwork between our two organizations.

It is believed that the “Double Goldfish” has strong protective energies which help to energize for good chi (生气). Hence, displaying this auspicious pair of goldfish in your office symbolizes abundant good fortune and synergy for our partnership.

We hope that apposite to the significance of this painting, we can look forward to a prosperous and harmonious working relationship.

Note: Parts in blue denote editing by my boss.
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The next day, my boss fwd my email to the secretary to follow up, with a note saying that I did a brilliant job in writing it. I was amused by the somewhat excessive commendation as I thought that I merely did a so-so job with the write-up, which I'm sure my collegues would agree with.

When I came out from a trip to the toilet, the secretary was at the door with the message that the MD wanted to see me in the conference room. So I followed her to the conference room where the MD, my boss, the other GM and a manager were having a meeting. Before I even had time to finish wondering what in the world the MD could be wanting to see me about, he took my hand and shook it vigorously while thanking me profusely for doing such a good job with the write-up, which described all the elements of the painting very well. So there I was, totally confused by the lavish compliments, while the other GM joked that I should write something for all the paintings in the room.

What is my point in blogging about this? It's exactly what the title says loh. I find it so ludicrous to earn such lavish praise from the MD, no less, for doing such a stupid, no-need-to-mention job. (ludicrous = a contribution so small as to be laughable) But apparently the management thought otherwise. Hmmm.

*Name has been changed to protect corporate confidentiality. Bleah!